How Public Speaking Builds Character
3 Lessons That Will Transform You
My heart pounded. My hands felt like ice. The room blurred as I stared at the expectant faces in front of me.
This was it—my first real speech.
I was a fresh graduate—my mind was full of ideas, but I just couldn’t express them.
I opened my mouth, but my voice felt weak, like an imposter in my own throat.
Would they understand me? Would they even care? Who was I to stand in front of them anyway?
If you've ever felt this fear—the anxiety of speaking up, the hesitation of sharing your thoughts, the lack of confidence—you’re not alone.
I used to believe that public speaking was just about getting the words out. But over a decade later, I know the truth:
Public speaking doesn’t just allow you to share your thoughts with the world. It transforms who you are.
It shapes you. It tests you. It builds your character.
Here are three powerful ways public speaking will help you grow—and how you can start using it as a tool for character-building today.
1. Self-Knowledge: Finding Your Voice by Understanding Yourself
To speak in front of people, you first need something worth saying.
For years, I didn’t think my life was interesting enough to talk about. So I stuck to facts—scientific research, news, and general knowledge. My speeches were informative—but something was missing.
My audience listened, but they didn’t connect.
I was frustrated. My mind was full of inspiring ideas, my heart full of good intentions—yet I couldn’t get through to people.
Then, one day, I dared to tell my first personal story:
I spoke about heartbreak—how unfaithfulness had unexpectedly shattered my world, like a tsunami hitting landlocked territory.
And suddenly, everything changed.
That invisible wall between me and my audience disappeared.
For the first time, I wasn’t just delivering a speech. I was sharing my humanness.
And my audience didn’t just listen—they felt it.
That’s when I realized: Our lives are full of stories—experiences that shape us. But we rarely reflect on them until we put them into words.
Public speaking forced me to articulate my experiences, and in doing so, I discovered something powerful:
My life mattered. My voice had meaning. My stories could offer a window through which others could see the world.
When I shared my life stories with emotion and authenticity, I finally connected with my audience—not through the words themselves, but through the human behind them.
How You Can Do This Too:
Reflect on your experiences. What challenges shaped who you are? Write them down. These are the treasures you can share.
Practice sharing an authentic personal story. You don’t have to be on stage—start in casual conversations, in a meeting, or even on social media.
Find the lessons. What have your experiences taught you? How can others benefit from them? There is value in everything you’ve lived.
The more you reflect, the more you’ll realize: your life is filled with messages worth sharing.
And as you share, you’ll not only connect with others—you’ll also understand yourself more deeply than ever before.
2. Vulnerability: Embracing Your Flaws, Finding Connection
I had learned to share my personal stories, but I still hesitated to talk about my mistakes.
I was embarrassed by my weaknesses, my regrets, my failures.
How could I share that with the world?
I was terrified of being judged. Of being rejected.
Why would people listen to me if I confessed my flaws?
But then, as if guided by a force deep within, I did the one thing I never thought I could do: I let go of control.
I stopped caring about how I would be perceived. I saw my life as an open book for anyone interested to read.
And instead of judgment, I was met with empathy.
I thought my failures made me weak, but sharing them showed me something profound:
Our struggles connect us more than our successes ever will. We relate to each other through shared human experience. True connection comes from heart-to-heart honesty.
For so long, I believed I had to prove my strength—that I had to be as perfect as humanly possible.
But on stage, I realized the truth: authenticity is more powerful than perfection.
How You Can Do This Too:
Start with a small truth. Share something real about yourself in a conversation—a fear, a challenge, a failure.
Notice how people respond. Vulnerability invites connection, and you’ll often find that they relate to your struggles more than your successes.
Let go of the fear of judgment. The right people will appreciate your honesty. And the ones who judge? They were never your people to begin with.
With each truth you share, you strip away the fear of judgment. And in that honesty, you find the confidence to own your story and your voice.
3. Confidence: Taming Fear, Owning the Stage
Public speaking is often ranked as one of the greatest human fears—sometimes even above death.
Why? Because speaking in front of others makes us feel exposed.
In ancient times, rejection from the group could mean isolation—or even death. That’s why, when you step on stage, your amygdala (your brain’s fear center) panics.
But here’s the secret:
The more you do it, the more your brain learns that speaking is not a threat.
The first time I spoke in front of an audience, I froze. My mind went blank. My voice wouldn’t come out.
I failed miserably. And yes, I was ridiculed.
But I proved my amygdala wrong: I survived.
And then, I did it again. And again. And again.
Until something shifted.
I realized that no matter how badly I spoke, no audience could end my life.
My worst fear—rejection—was never a threat to my survival.
Ultimately, it was just an illusion.
How You Can Do This Too:
Step into the conversation. Instead of waiting for the perfect moment, just jump in—share a quick thought or a story and see what happens.
Redefine the sensation. That rush of adrenaline before speaking? It’s energy. Instead of resisting it as fear, channel it as a source of power.
Remind yourself: You will survive. Even if you stumble, forget a line, or feel judged—the world keeps turning. And next time? You’ll be stronger.
The only way to build confidence is through action. Speak before you feel ready. That’s when liberation happens.
From Fear to Freedom
Today, I stand before audiences with confidence.
I know myself. I speak my truth. I no longer fear vulnerability.
And just last week, I won two medals in a Toastmasters speech contest!
(Yes, I’m totally showing off my medals right now!)
But the greatest reward isn’t the trophies.
It’s the transformation.
Because the real magic of public speaking isn’t in mastering words. It’s in mastering yourself.
Your Turn: Find Your Voice, Build Your Character
Your voice has the power to move, inspire, and transform—use it.
Your story is a force for connection, impact, and change—share it.
You don’t need to be flawless to make an impact—your authenticity is your greatest strength.
Public speaking builds character by cultivating self-knowledge, vulnerability, and confidence—transforming not just how you communicate, but who you become.
Please share your thoughts in the comments!
On this journey with you,
Alma